Check out Hef's new live-in hookers. Once you get past the fact that he can't please you sexually in any way, he's really a great boyfriend. He owns a big house, nice cars, tons of money and his own magazine.... what else can a young lady with an IQ of 3 want in life. Just be home by 9 pm or else your ass is gonna be left in Vegas posing for pics at Wet Republic like his ex-slave Holly.

Wait, lemme guess..... you want to be an actress?! By actress you mean the property of a Saudi Prince by 2012 right?
PERFECT!!

- young